I’ve been going back and forth on how I should name this post. Though not the most attention–grabber, Coronavirus rightly describes this season in my life. It’s been a strange time… but then again not so. I have always felt comfortable being alone and staying home. In a way, I identify a lot with Eleanor…
I have always taken great pride in managing my life alone. I’m a sole survivor – I’m Eleanor Oliphant. I don’t need anyone else – there’s no big hole in my life, no missing part of my own particular puzzle. I am a self-contained entity. That’s what I’ve always told myself, at any rate. -Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine
The day after reading this, I could not get out of my mind the phrase self-contained entity. I wanted to understand why this small three words resonated with me. A self-contained entity; an entity that does not depend on anything but its own, that does not need to depend of or exist with anything. While I think that no one can be a self-contained in the true sense of the word, I do believe that for some people is more enjoyable and comfortable being by themselves.
People have coped with this situation differently; it’s brought a lot of anxiety to some people, not knowing when and how we will get out of this situation. It has understandably been a time when holding onto hope has been harder than ever. But thankfully for me, this time hasn’t been as cruel as it has been to others.
I’ve found a renewed interest in photography. Specially in monochrome pictures. I used to think that black and white pictures were sad and boring. But I have been proved wrong. I’ve found that they, in fact, can convey emotions in a way that full–colored can’t.
I’ve tried to make the time to go back to the kitchen. I’ve forgotten how good it feels to eat something you’ve taken the time to mix, knead, or decorate.
I’ve made the time to go back to reading. I have read a few books during this time, Little Fires being my favorite of the year so far. I sometimes forget how much I enjoy reading. I mean… I obviously do, but making the time to do so can be difficult. But when I do make the effort do so, I find myself well-rewarded for it.
While this past couple of months have not been a torture, I do hope that it can soon be over. I do miss ordering a pizza on Saturday nights, going to the supermarket in the weekends and just being able to get together with the people you love.
Loneliness can occur even amid companions if one’s heart is not open to them. -Henry David Thoreau