In the end, it is a start

In the end, it is a start

Tree

I have never been good at starting new things. Now that I think about it, almost every class, extra-curricular activity, and food that I have tried has been a non-voluntary action. Why would anyone abandon their comfort zone? Really, why?

Facing new things has never been my strength. I like knowing what I am doing and how to do things. So whenever a new semester starts I inevitably feel this massive hole in my stomach. It doesn’t matter that I have been going to school for more than 20 years, I still dislike the idea of not being completely in the know of what’s the future looks like.

This week I was debating whether to keep a class or not. I have never had any exposure to a class like this one before. So I started to come up with reason why keeping it would not be a good idea: you won’t have time, you can’t take on a responsibility like this, you’re already taking too many classes, you’ll never make it. And then a small part of me whispered… but if you don’t do it now, then you’ll regret it.

It was then when this thought dawn on me. I am not taking this class because I feel confident about it or because I am an expert. I am taking it because I know nothing about it. And that is perfectly fine. I still feel nervous and doubtful (I’m scared out of my mind, if I’m being honest). And, inexplicably, at the same time I feel a peace of mind that assures me it will all work out.

In terms of facing your fears, I would be the last person you’d come to for guidance. I would never had encouraged myself to willingly do anything out of my comfort zone, let alone encourage others. Nevertheless, here I am facing my fears. In a small and probably insignificant way, but in the end it is a start. I guess my point is: if there’s something that you want to do or need to change, then do it! Even if it scares you out of your mind, even if it takes time, and even if every molecule of the universe says you won’t succeed, because in then end it is a start.

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