You remember the scene in Cinderella when the mice make her a dress in her birthday? Well, that’s exactly how this dress came to be. Except it was not my birthday and it was my sister who made the dresses.

This summer I talked my sister into learning how to use a sewing machine. To be honest, I just needed some tailoring done (being petite makes it difficult to find fitted clothes) but I did not want to learn how to do it myself. What started as tailoring soon became a… I want a dress like this one but without this other thing. And my sister, being the saint she is, obliged to my desires. Ever since we crossed this dress-making point, she has made me a few clothing pieces. She has struggled and learned through each one of them and that is why they are so precious to me. More often than not, she ends up frustrated with me because I am “too picky” or “too critical.” I like to think about it as knowing what I want 😉 .

My sister says I have a way to make people do whatever I want. I believe she makes these dresses out of love and since my version sounds better (and ten times less manipulative), it is the one I will keep. Does exploiting my sister makes me the most terrible person ever? Yes, it probably does. But hey, at least now my clothes fit perfectly.

 

I have never been good at starting new things. Now that I think about it, almost every class, extra-curricular activity, and food that I have tried has been a non-voluntary action. Why would anyone abandon their comfort zone? Really, why?

Facing new things has never been my strength. I like knowing what I am doing and how to do things. So whenever a new semester starts I inevitably feel this massive hole in my stomach. It doesn’t matter that I have been going to school for more than 20 years, I still dislike the idea of not being completely in the know of what’s the future looks like.

This week I was debating whether to keep a class or not. I have never had any exposure to a class like this one before. So I started to come up with reason why keeping it would not be a good idea: you won’t have time, you can’t take on a responsibility like this, you’re already taking too many classes, you’ll never make it. And then a small part of me whispered… but if you don’t do it now, then you’ll regret it.

It was then when this thought dawn on me. I am not taking this class because I feel confident about it or because I am an expert. I am taking it because I know nothing about it. And that is perfectly fine. I still feel nervous and doubtful (I’m scared out of my mind, if I’m being honest). And, inexplicably, at the same time I feel a peace of mind that assures me it will all work out.

In terms of facing your fears, I would be the last person you’d come to for guidance. I would never had encouraged myself to willingly do anything out of my comfort zone, let alone encourage others. Nevertheless, here I am facing my fears. In a small and probably insignificant way, but in the end it is a start. I guess my point is: if there’s something that you want to do or need to change, then do it! Even if it scares you out of your mind, even if it takes time, and even if every molecule of the universe says you won’t succeed, because in then end it is a start.

One of the many defining faults characteristics of millennials is that, in general, we thrive in being rootless. And I completely get it, being rootless is very enticing. Having the option/freedom to get up, pack up, get on a plane, and start over in a completely new place. Gosh, it sure sounds tempting! At least the idea is, but in reality I’m all for nesting. I guess not all millennials are created equal, eh?

Lately, this nesting feeling is becoming more and more frequent. I feel a thirst to start the next phase of my life. Like, I’m so ready to have a job, own an apartment (maybe a small house?) and make it mine, have a garden (pleaseee 🙏🏼), and mainly, not having to worry about where I’m going to end up. There are days when I can’t help but roll my eyes and think “Can I just skip to the next chapter?”

Sadly, there is no forward button. But I knew that already. There have been a million motivational speakers who advice to live today, to be intentional, to seize the present day. And there have been another million and one who advocate for developing more patience. And ultimately, that’s what it comes down to: patience.

So as a personal goal I’ll enjoy the chapter I am in –even with it’s flaws, messiness, and uncertainty– because one day my imperfect nature is going to miss these college days. The days when I was poorly fed, sleep deprived, and over worked.

Some random thoughts…

This week, particularly, I am grateful for having wise people I can rely on. I feel incredibly blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who support me, fuel me, and inspire me.

You’ve probably heard about ‘power poses.’ I remember the first time I did. I also remembered how quickly I undermined my dad’s argument for them. Of course, I was wrong (as I often am regarding many things). Sorry dad! This TED talk explains how our body language influences our mind –and it also proves that my dad was not making it up 🙂 It’s both informative and the perfect length for a quick break.

And finally, something to think about.  Benjamin Zander, the famous music conductor, shared this story that has taught me something extremely valuable. He says:

I learned this from a woman who survived Auschwitz, one of the rare survivors. She went to Auschwitz when she was 15 years old. And her brother was eight, and the parents were lost. And she told me this, she said, “We were in the train going to Auschwitz, and I looked down and saw my brother’s shoes were missing. I said, ‘Why are you so stupid, can’t you keep your things together for goodness’ sake?'” The way an elder sister might speak to a younger brother. Unfortunately, it was the last thing she ever said to him, because she never saw him again. He did not survive. And so when she came out of Auschwitz, she made a vow. She told me this. She said, “I walked out of Auschwitz into life and I made a vow. And the vow was, “I will never say anything that couldn’t stand as the last thing I ever say.”

“We only have five months left before we leave the warm and comforting bosom of this university and face the bitterly cold shoulder of the real world.”
-Paris Geller

You know that episode in Gilmore Girls where Paris creates all of these charts full of things Rory and Paris need to get done before they graduate? Well, I can’t say I haven’t been a bit excited to finally get to that point in my college experience. To be fair, I still have a year left. However, the heaviest part of the recruiting season happens during fall semester so I thought why not start now? Therefore, I’ve decided to start my own Operation Finish Line.

I didn’t need to think for long to start coming up with things I must get done before April comes around. The list includes a little bit of everything: things all students must do while in college, job hunting, academic events, and a lot of random things I’ve wanted  to do for the longest time but never made the time to actually do them. Yep, I’m the QUEEN of procrastination 👸🏻.

The upcoming year is definitely going to be a busy one. First of all, I need to figure out a way I can fit the remainder of my required classes in two semesters so that I can be outta here come April (hello 18 credits! 🙋🏻). Did I mention I tend to procrastinate? Then, there is the whole graduation process and application, the international requirements and applications that go along with graduating/getting a job, job applications, actually getting a job, certifications… and that’s on top of my par-time job, calling, and a feeble attempt to have a social life. On the upside, my planner and I will be closer than we’ve ever been before 🙂

Daunting does not begin to encompass how I feel about the upcoming year. But I do feel that there is no point in overwhelming myself with the vastness of things I need to get done. I just have to put one foot in front of the other. After all, that’s how I’ve managed to get here. One foot in front of the other…

 

It already feels like the end of summer. June and July were very chill months. August, however, has been a more active one, mentally and physically. I started getting the back-to-school anxiety waves that alternate with the this-is-my-last-year-of-schooling (YAY!) excitement waves. It’s hard to admit (especially to myself) that sooner than I think I’ll be an adult accountable to other people than myself. It’s even harder to deal with the uncertainty that the future holds. I constantly have to repeat myself ‘Everything will work out. Everything will work out’. But alas, there are days when it’s inevitable not to feel like I’m lagging behind.

To keep my sanity from all these worries/distractions here’s what I’ve tried:

Podcasts: I have gotten myself into podcasts and it’s been wonderful. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but sometimes you just get tired of listening to music to the point where even your favorite music seems dull. Do you know what I’m saying? Hopefully you get the idea. Podcasts came to save the day (day? they saved my last couple of months!)

Baking: Last week I finished my last online class of my baking class. Yes, they are a thing. Who knew that baking would be so relaxing? The kitchen is always a mess afterwards but washing the dishes while bread is baking is oddly soothing for one’s soul –at least it soothes my soul. I like the fact that this is a skill that perfects over time so it gives me the perfect excuse to ‘invest’ in cake tins, pans, scales, etc. So it’s my hope that I will have to work on perfecting this skill for many years so that when I’m a grandma I can bake with my grandkids (*thinks too much about the future*). Side note: I love owning a spatula knife. Life changing, let me tell you.

Reading: Does this come to a surprise to anyone? No, probably no. During this summer I’ve caught up with all the reading I’ve neglected during fall and winter semesters (thank you accounting books for kindly taking all of my time). There have been a few massive misses and some hits but before summer ends I think I need to revisit my all-time favorite: Little Women. Never not a good time to read this one.

Also, I’m starting a new project: The Chalkboard method. Currently gathering the paper, markers, etc. so that I can get it going. One of the goals is to have a post at least once a week (I’m thinking Mondays) if anything, to document how miserable school will make my life this upcoming year. Don’t you love pessimistic Diana? 😉

 

 

 

:: one ::           I made it to DC! I cannot believe it’s been a month already. My internship has certainly kept me busy but I’ll be posting more about it later next week so be sure to come back for a full recap. Also, please be kind enough as to overlook my messy hair and shiny face. DC is so humid! I always feel short of breath (that might also be because my exercise routine is binge watching Gilmore Girls while eating ice cream) 😛

:: two ::          I’ve been doing some research on places to eat (aka Pinterest) while in DC, and naturally I had to start with… drum roll please… donuts! Astro Doughnuts have this amazing cream-brulee doughnut that is just perfection. It’s too sweet, to be completely honest, but at the same time highly addictive. I also tried the PB&J (not working on my bikini body obviously) but the cream-brulee is without a doubt the winner.

 

:: three ::            Yes, homemade pancakes. Because what’s better than sleeping in on a Saturday and having pancakes for breakfast? Clearly, the answer is nothing 🙂

 

:: four ::             The view from the rooftop of my building. The weather has been unpredictable in DC, but it’s mostly sunny. Isn’t this view gorgeous? Any guesses as to where I’ll be reading my books in the next couple of months?

 

Have a happy and safe weekend!

Diana

With the semester being over I’ve had more time to focus on things that I know I should do, but never really have the time to do. One of those things is keeping a diary. Keeping a diary has always been a struggle because of the time and effort it requires. I realized that for some reason, writing down things on paper is part of the problem.

Don’t get me wrong, I love writing things down. I’m a huge supporter of paper planners instead of e-calendars and apps. But for this specific activity, I’ve come to realize that keeping an electronic diary is better for me. I’m actually surprised at how well my little experiment is going. I’ve been enjoying the simple activity of writing down the things that happened in my day, how I am feeling, and the things I’m learning.

On another note, spring is here! Well, this week the weather has been very cloudy, chilly, and gloomy. However, there have been a few good sunny days. Spring is probably my favorite season because all you need is light layers. I really cannot wait until the weather gets warmer and sunnier. It’s going to be the best summer yet!

xxo,
Diana

Here’s what I’ve been up to this month…

I’m currently watching Parks and Rec. I used to say I’d never watch it. Season 1 never caught my eye, so after a lot of going back and forth, I followed my friends’ advice and I skipped season 1 and jumped to season 2. I’m so glad I listened to them because I’m so in love with Ben Wyatt. I mean, seriously, where do I find a boyfriend like him? Anyone has any idea? (I’m serious you guys!)

Music wise… Adele. I just discovered Adele’s “Water under the bridge” and wow. just wow. So deep and so emotional. I don’t know why I hadn’t listened to it (did I tell you school was crazy this semester? okay, so no judging) but now that I did it’s been on replay for like a week now 🙂

Also, I know this is really random, but I’ve been eating my weight in Mexican food. My parents are visiting and they brought A LOT of food. Ugh, it takes like four months to barely loose any weight and just one week with your mom in town to gain twice as much. SO unfair! It’s not like I’m going to stop eating anytime soon or anything, I just wanted to vent about it 🙂 Now that I have, let’s move on.

Shopping… have you seen Ann Taylor’s latest collection? It’s got me hooked. Like I’ll drool over how amazingly elegant the pieces are kind-of-hooked. So colorful and classy! But I’m still a poor college student. Can I just wake up one day with my BS degree? Pleasseee..

Hope you’re having a good one!
Diana