What should you be looking for in your own life? What are God’s miracles that remind you that He is close, saying, “I am right here”? Think of those times, some daily, when the Lord has acted in your life—and then acted again. Treasure them as moments the Lord has shown confidence in you and in your choices. But allow Him to make more of you than you can make of yourself on your own. Treasure His involvement. Sometimes we consider changes in our plans as missteps on our journey. Think of them more as first steps to being “on the Lord’s errand.” -Ronald A. Rasband

Five things that I learned this month:

1. Being a business major means that you, as a woman, will always be greatly outnumbered by men. This has its downsides, but it also has its upsides! And this month I was reminded of how much better student/person/professional I am surrounded by my male classmates.
2. There is no better feeling than ignoring your email. Ironically, there is no worse feeling that opening your email after neglecting it for days.
3. Always have an “introduce yourself” pitch prepared. You would guess that at this point Diana would have figured this one out. Noup, I still babble my way through introductions. One of these days though… I am telling you, I will get it together.
4. We are all much more than a number; any number. Whatever number you think you are, you are not. I am skeptical about many things but of this I am completely sure.
5. I’ve come to realize that there are very few things that baking, sleeping, or taking a bath cannot solve *types as she takes out a yogurt and berries cake out of the oven*.

It has finally happened: summer is officially over. And for the first time in a few years, it pains me that this has happened. Instead of having perfectly bright, autumn, brisk mornings, we get cold rain and cloudy skies. Here is to hoping the weather improves! Now a recap of my week and some thoughts that have been in my mind…

Earlier last week, I received some sad news. On Tuesday, September 19, Mexico was hit by a 7.4 magnitude earthquake. Just 12 days before that it had been hit by a 8.1 earthquake. I first found about it from my sister’s text where she told us (my family and I) that she was fine. I was relieved to hear she was okay. However, I had forgotten that my dad was going to be in Mexico City that day. When I heard that my dad was there I immediately started praying for his welfare. It took longer to hear back from him and I promise, 18 minutes have never ever passed by so slowly. Finally, he contacted us and said he, too, was fine.

Moments like this certainly make you revaluate what you hold as important. As I was waiting to hear back from my dad, I started thinking how insignificant everything seemed compared to loosing someone you love. I am blessed to not have lost anyone on Tuesday and for that I am and will be eternally grateful. Nevertheless, the experience has shed a much needed light to the things that really matter in life.

We get so worried about trivial things. We get annoyed by inconsequential things. We act ungratefully towards each other.  We overlook our blessings constantly. We take for granted too many things. And in the end, I think we would have wished we hadn’t. Life is better than our bad days, bigger than our fears, and shorter than it appears to be. I hope that from this day onward, neither you nor I will take from granted anything that is good in life because things can change literally in a blink of eye.

You remember the scene in Cinderella when the mice make her a dress in her birthday? Well, that’s exactly how this dress came to be. Except it was not my birthday and it was my sister who made the dresses.

This summer I talked my sister into learning how to use a sewing machine. To be honest, I just needed some tailoring done (being petite makes it difficult to find fitted clothes) but I did not want to learn how to do it myself. What started as tailoring soon became a… I want a dress like this one but without this other thing. And my sister, being the saint she is, obliged to my desires. Ever since we crossed this dress-making point, she has made me a few clothing pieces. She has struggled and learned through each one of them and that is why they are so precious to me. More often than not, she ends up frustrated with me because I am “too picky” or “too critical.” I like to think about it as knowing what I want 😉 .

My sister says I have a way to make people do whatever I want. I believe she makes these dresses out of love and since my version sounds better (and ten times less manipulative), it is the one I will keep. Does exploiting my sister makes me the most terrible person ever? Yes, it probably does. But hey, at least now my clothes fit perfectly.

 

I have never been good at starting new things. Now that I think about it, almost every class, extra-curricular activity, and food that I have tried has been a non-voluntary action. Why would anyone abandon their comfort zone? Really, why?

Facing new things has never been my strength. I like knowing what I am doing and how to do things. So whenever a new semester starts I inevitably feel this massive hole in my stomach. It doesn’t matter that I have been going to school for more than 20 years, I still dislike the idea of not being completely in the know of what’s the future looks like.

This week I was debating whether to keep a class or not. I have never had any exposure to a class like this one before. So I started to come up with reason why keeping it would not be a good idea: you won’t have time, you can’t take on a responsibility like this, you’re already taking too many classes, you’ll never make it. And then a small part of me whispered… but if you don’t do it now, then you’ll regret it.

It was then when this thought dawn on me. I am not taking this class because I feel confident about it or because I am an expert. I am taking it because I know nothing about it. And that is perfectly fine. I still feel nervous and doubtful (I’m scared out of my mind, if I’m being honest). And, inexplicably, at the same time I feel a peace of mind that assures me it will all work out.

In terms of facing your fears, I would be the last person you’d come to for guidance. I would never had encouraged myself to willingly do anything out of my comfort zone, let alone encourage others. Nevertheless, here I am facing my fears. In a small and probably insignificant way, but in the end it is a start. I guess my point is: if there’s something that you want to do or need to change, then do it! Even if it scares you out of your mind, even if it takes time, and even if every molecule of the universe says you won’t succeed, because in then end it is a start.

One of the many defining faults characteristics of millennials is that, in general, we thrive in being rootless. And I completely get it, being rootless is very enticing. Having the option/freedom to get up, pack up, get on a plane, and start over in a completely new place. Gosh, it sure sounds tempting! At least the idea is, but in reality I’m all for nesting. I guess not all millennials are created equal, eh?

Lately, this nesting feeling is becoming more and more frequent. I feel a thirst to start the next phase of my life. Like, I’m so ready to have a job, own an apartment (maybe a small house?) and make it mine, have a garden (pleaseee 🙏🏼), and mainly, not having to worry about where I’m going to end up. There are days when I can’t help but roll my eyes and think “Can I just skip to the next chapter?”

Sadly, there is no forward button. But I knew that already. There have been a million motivational speakers who advice to live today, to be intentional, to seize the present day. And there have been another million and one who advocate for developing more patience. And ultimately, that’s what it comes down to: patience.

So as a personal goal I’ll enjoy the chapter I am in –even with it’s flaws, messiness, and uncertainty– because one day my imperfect nature is going to miss these college days. The days when I was poorly fed, sleep deprived, and over worked.

Some random thoughts…

This week, particularly, I am grateful for having wise people I can rely on. I feel incredibly blessed to be surrounded by amazing people who support me, fuel me, and inspire me.

You’ve probably heard about ‘power poses.’ I remember the first time I did. I also remembered how quickly I undermined my dad’s argument for them. Of course, I was wrong (as I often am regarding many things). Sorry dad! This TED talk explains how our body language influences our mind –and it also proves that my dad was not making it up 🙂 It’s both informative and the perfect length for a quick break.

And finally, something to think about.  Benjamin Zander, the famous music conductor, shared this story that has taught me something extremely valuable. He says:

I learned this from a woman who survived Auschwitz, one of the rare survivors. She went to Auschwitz when she was 15 years old. And her brother was eight, and the parents were lost. And she told me this, she said, “We were in the train going to Auschwitz, and I looked down and saw my brother’s shoes were missing. I said, ‘Why are you so stupid, can’t you keep your things together for goodness’ sake?'” The way an elder sister might speak to a younger brother. Unfortunately, it was the last thing she ever said to him, because she never saw him again. He did not survive. And so when she came out of Auschwitz, she made a vow. She told me this. She said, “I walked out of Auschwitz into life and I made a vow. And the vow was, “I will never say anything that couldn’t stand as the last thing I ever say.”

“We only have five months left before we leave the warm and comforting bosom of this university and face the bitterly cold shoulder of the real world.”
-Paris Geller

You know that episode in Gilmore Girls where Paris creates all of these charts full of things Rory and Paris need to get done before they graduate? Well, I can’t say I haven’t been a bit excited to finally get to that point in my college experience. To be fair, I still have a year left. However, the heaviest part of the recruiting season happens during fall semester so I thought why not start now? Therefore, I’ve decided to start my own Operation Finish Line.

I didn’t need to think for long to start coming up with things I must get done before April comes around. The list includes a little bit of everything: things all students must do while in college, job hunting, academic events, and a lot of random things I’ve wanted  to do for the longest time but never made the time to actually do them. Yep, I’m the QUEEN of procrastination 👸🏻.

The upcoming year is definitely going to be a busy one. First of all, I need to figure out a way I can fit the remainder of my required classes in two semesters so that I can be outta here come April (hello 18 credits! 🙋🏻). Did I mention I tend to procrastinate? Then, there is the whole graduation process and application, the international requirements and applications that go along with graduating/getting a job, job applications, actually getting a job, certifications… and that’s on top of my par-time job, calling, and a feeble attempt to have a social life. On the upside, my planner and I will be closer than we’ve ever been before 🙂

Daunting does not begin to encompass how I feel about the upcoming year. But I do feel that there is no point in overwhelming myself with the vastness of things I need to get done. I just have to put one foot in front of the other. After all, that’s how I’ve managed to get here. One foot in front of the other…

 

It already feels like the end of summer. June and July were very chill months. August, however, has been a more active one, mentally and physically. I started getting the back-to-school anxiety waves that alternate with the this-is-my-last-year-of-schooling (YAY!) excitement waves. It’s hard to admit (especially to myself) that sooner than I think I’ll be an adult accountable to other people than myself. It’s even harder to deal with the uncertainty that the future holds. I constantly have to repeat myself ‘Everything will work out. Everything will work out’. But alas, there are days when it’s inevitable not to feel like I’m lagging behind.

To keep my sanity from all these worries/distractions here’s what I’ve tried:

Podcasts: I have gotten myself into podcasts and it’s been wonderful. I don’t know if you’ve experienced this, but sometimes you just get tired of listening to music to the point where even your favorite music seems dull. Do you know what I’m saying? Hopefully you get the idea. Podcasts came to save the day (day? they saved my last couple of months!)

Baking: Last week I finished my last online class of my baking class. Yes, they are a thing. Who knew that baking would be so relaxing? The kitchen is always a mess afterwards but washing the dishes while bread is baking is oddly soothing for one’s soul –at least it soothes my soul. I like the fact that this is a skill that perfects over time so it gives me the perfect excuse to ‘invest’ in cake tins, pans, scales, etc. So it’s my hope that I will have to work on perfecting this skill for many years so that when I’m a grandma I can bake with my grandkids (*thinks too much about the future*). Side note: I love owning a spatula knife. Life changing, let me tell you.

Reading: Does this come to a surprise to anyone? No, probably no. During this summer I’ve caught up with all the reading I’ve neglected during fall and winter semesters (thank you accounting books for kindly taking all of my time). There have been a few massive misses and some hits but before summer ends I think I need to revisit my all-time favorite: Little Women. Never not a good time to read this one.

Also, I’m starting a new project: The Chalkboard method. Currently gathering the paper, markers, etc. so that I can get it going. One of the goals is to have a post at least once a week (I’m thinking Mondays) if anything, to document how miserable school will make my life this upcoming year. Don’t you love pessimistic Diana? 😉

 

 

 

:: one ::           I made it to DC! I cannot believe it’s been a month already. My internship has certainly kept me busy but I’ll be posting more about it later next week so be sure to come back for a full recap. Also, please be kind enough as to overlook my messy hair and shiny face. DC is so humid! I always feel short of breath (that might also be because my exercise routine is binge watching Gilmore Girls while eating ice cream) 😛

:: two ::          I’ve been doing some research on places to eat (aka Pinterest) while in DC, and naturally I had to start with… drum roll please… donuts! Astro Doughnuts have this amazing cream-brulee doughnut that is just perfection. It’s too sweet, to be completely honest, but at the same time highly addictive. I also tried the PB&J (not working on my bikini body obviously) but the cream-brulee is without a doubt the winner.

 

:: three ::            Yes, homemade pancakes. Because what’s better than sleeping in on a Saturday and having pancakes for breakfast? Clearly, the answer is nothing 🙂

 

:: four ::             The view from the rooftop of my building. The weather has been unpredictable in DC, but it’s mostly sunny. Isn’t this view gorgeous? Any guesses as to where I’ll be reading my books in the next couple of months?

 

Have a happy and safe weekend!

Diana